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Editor: Geldar Prope
Misrepresenting the facts since 1461. |
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June, Year of Our Lord 1463
Issue 8 |
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Captain Carlyn Rescued!
The tall dark and dashing Captain Carlyn Blackhammer of the Berium Guard has been rescued from durance vile in a daring and top secret mission led by his liege lord the Baron Glenn Underwood. Underwood said in an exclusive interview with The Truth that "the captain was being held in a dungeon belonging to the Lord Mikovitch, inside of which we were beset from two sides by followers of the Dark One. However, using the close quarters to our advantage, we were able to defeat the mercenaries pretty fast and rescue the captain with little difficulty. Against all odds, our group suffered no casualties." The Captain has declined to comment on his rescue and is reported to be missing an eye and to be severely taxed by his arduous and lengthy imprisonment of several months.
Underwood commented that the rescue mission was delayed by the vandalism of the War-Bridge of Shiberu Gir'tuk, a noted landmark and the fastest way across the massive Maw of Gartung. He took pains to establish that his party was not responsible for the damage. He also states that the fairy Imbas has been released from her imprisonment in return for services rendered to the rescue mission. The fairies Willowtwig and Gisa are still incarcerated - our sources report that Gisa Goldwing has contracted the life threatening disease Dicky Lung from the poor conditions in the prison and has been moved to slightly drier quarters until the Baron should see fit to give her a trial. The Truth requests that this be held as soon as possible on compassionate grounds.
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Demons Moving Into Faerie
Seeking to Right Wrongs
The Mordavian Truth has recently acquired independent confirmation of a rumour that demons are moving into Faerie. The demon Rakhe, one of many demons waiting to be resettled in the ‘new land’, told The Truth that Faerie was reached via some kind of magical ritual that she insisted she was unable to discuss in any detail.
Artist’s impression of the migrating demons
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Fortuitously, this reporter happened to be in a nearby tavern, gathering information, when a drunken demon sang part of a song suggesting that flowers are in some way involved with the process. This individual was sadly silenced before more information could be gained.
When asked why the demons were attempting to enter the Faerie realm, and whether this could be considered an invasion, Rakhe’s reply was “you know, of course, zat ze fairiez have ztolen ze power of our landz, reduzing zem to a vrozen wazteland? It iz only fair, zuz, zat we find a new home.”
Though some demons have been seeking refuge in the land of Mordavia, Rakhe says this is not an ideal situation for all. She adds, “No ovvenze, but your land iz almost az cold az what we have been vorzed to leave.” As it is almost midwinter, this reporter is inclined to agree.
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There appears to be a temporary hold up in the resettlement plans. The Truth believes that this has something to do with an epidemic of influenza. While our contacts were reticent on the subject, one did comment "It iz becauze of ze Znuffles, you zee."
Magnu Missing
Lord Magnu, the noted Seelie diplomat, has not returned from his latest mission in the wilds of Mordavia. His party is now significantly delayed and there are grave concerns for his safety. Lady Ishita, a high ranking Seelie fae said that Queen of the Seelie Court was distraught over his absence. Lady Ishita declined to say what Lord Magnu’s highly critical mission was, however, he did stress its importance to the Faerie Realm.
Lord Magnu shortly before
he set off on his mission.
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Elves Crack Down On Stolen Artifacts
Over the past month a steady stream of Elvish relics has been flowing into the artefact-dealers and antique-shops of the cities of Eranov and Carpathia.
They are sourced from the ancient Elven city of Lorandros, which fell to an organised group of Orcs and bandits many years ago. Apparently the Baron of Dareen’s efforts to reclaim the territory from the bandits has been only partly successful and treasure-hunters are swarming over the area. One such person, explaining the provenance of an item to a certain antique dealer, relates “There’s like, this ruined city in Dareen, where the Elves hung out, see, an’ what with the fire an’ all the troops off hunting bandits, y’can just walk in and pick th’stuff up. It’s treasure just lyin’ there!” Another individual on the staff, who shall remain nameless, “I wen’ up there, just to check out the story, y’know, but there was no stuff left.”
Lady Dariyan, Ambassador of the Western Elves, strongly states that nothing recovered from the ruins would contain any magical power whatsoever. Moreover, the surviving Elves of Lorandros are reported to be angered by this wholesale ‘relic-dealing’, and aim to track down the items and return them to their rightful owners. “This shameful trade must be choked off and outlawed,” say the Western Council, as they prepare to move against looters still in the area. Recompense will be offered to those who seek to return the items to the Elves, please see the advertisement later in this issue.
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Argument Over Alms
Berium's two major charities are now competing not just for residents but the money to support them as well. The well-established Sunshine Meadows Refugee Camp has long been a sanctuary for those disadvantageously domiciled and has, since its founding, earned money for the keep of its inmates by fielding an undead army that it rents to the town of Berium for military protection. However it also relies on charitable donations of money, clothing and weapons and is finding itself short now that the new Berium Insane Asylum has opened for business. Matters have come to such a head that there are unsubstantiated rumours that the Asylum's priests and the Refugee Camp's proprieters have taken to mugging each other for bags of old clothes.
Not only is the Insane Aslum challenging Sunshine Meadows for the Charity Kopek, particularly from such generous patrons as Baron Von Braun, but the two charities are competing as a residence for the unfortunate victims of the tentacular plague now striking Berium. Father Voltaire, the head of the Insane Asylum questioned the wisdom of the Refugee Camp in taking in Dark One victims, saying "these cultists shouldn't be kept outdoors near the Swamp, or they'll find their way back to the cult. They need to be kept inside hard stone and iron until their spirital disease has been quelled." In truth, Sunshine Meadows is more of a camp than a prison and Voltaire's fears that its inmates will be inadequately restrained may well be justified.
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Blessed Staff in Eranov
Lady Alia of the Order of Erana presided over the consecration of the Staff of their patron and it was installed in the gardens of their main temple amidst the rejoicing of the townsfolk. A wave of gladness has spread throughout the city and it is hoped that the blessed Erana will spread her hand over her namesake town and protect it from the incursions of the Swamp. This noxious Swamp is now fast approaching the thriving metropolis of Eranov, home of the Prince of Mordavia, a centre for artistic endeavour and of the religious order devoted to Erana.
Missing Priestesses Still Missing
The bodies of three of the missing priestesses of Ceres were discovered recently in the Swamp by a division of the Royal Guard. Sergeant John Cooper, who found them, declined to comment on why they had not risen as zombies, though a consultant Necromancer indicates that this may have been because of the sanctified nature of the priestesses or perhaps their final resting place, an old Roman graveyard.
There is no clear cause of death at this late date, however, locals think they were killed by the XIII Undead Legion, which had been seen in the area. Evidence suggests that the dead priestesses Clover Black, Elanor Brooke and Rosemary Redfern were accompanied by at least one other, Merlot Sarus, daughter of Lord Mikhail Sarus, when they died. However, no sign of the other four priestesses remains. The Truth prays that they are alive and in good health, and can soon be rescued, wherever they may be.
Their ashes will be sent to the Sanctuary of Ceres, in Karagol.
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Hot Goss From
Berium-In-The-Swamp
by Elisabeth Cagliostro
Lady, Vampire, Gossip Columnist
You just want to fondle it ... Lush fine fur is popular all-around with the new Demon inhabitants of Berium as winter hits with a vengeance. As one interviewee says: "It’s going to get colder? @#$%$@&" Some variations involve a very finegrained leather that might be pigskin. Other fashion accessories include spikes in interesting places and finely embroidered breath masks. The use for the latter is unclear - perhaps to display tribal affiliations?
Fashionable Fairies are daubing their wings in glitter this season. Colours range from gold and silver sparkledust to the more daring vibrant-orange-and-chartreuse combo. Accessories are moving from handbags and scarves to spiky knives and large battleaxes (with glitter on the handles).
Black robes, brown robes – he’s still got a tentacle... The Berium Insane Asylum has had a thriving business in reforming cultists, although their dress sense is boring as ever ...
The Lady doth protest too much. It seems that Berium's Chancellor Acanthus Everlight and the 'High Mage' Aitrus are engaged in a secret romance. While publicly quarrelling, the two have been meeting privately for 'reasons of state', late at night, in lushly appointed chambers. Says a source close to Chancellor Everlight: "She's loved him passionately for years, but they knew that they could never marry until he passed his novitiate.
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All the fighting is just a blind so Acanthus's Mother Superior won't suspect she's ... you know." So, the next time you see those little love-birds fighting like necrotaurs and swamp-hounds, remember they are keeping together the best way they know how. Isn't that sweet? Study hard, Aitrus! When asked if she was the young woman in the lovely flowing frock seen leaving her employer’s rooms shortly after the recently foiled assassination attempt, Acanthus replied that she "was not in conference with the Baron at the time." I think we can safely conclude that Aitrus was elsewhere, also.
Agony Aunt
Deer Miss Verite,
I have trid going bak to my aples and potaytos, but it is of no a-vale. Also Mr Treganoww wil not ask me out on a dayt even tho it has been rayning lots. I am not full filled on my farm. I have bought sum leather bandoleers and weapons from Camp Followers R Us. If I practis relly hard, wil anywun aksept me as a murcenary?
Yor Friend,
Eagr Pheasant
Dear Eager Peasant,
I suggest you go for it. I am reliably informed that the Berium Mages' Guild is sponsoring the creation of a military arm. Try waiting outside their door until they hire you.
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Book Review
"Chivalry For Champions" by Tho. White, L. Dulac, S. Al Din
This scholarly but accessible treatise details the value of virtue and correct behaviour for the military man or woman. It includes worked examples of ethical dilemmas, leads into more complicated theory, and even details the etiquette appropriate for a King or Emperor's Champion. It has a special chapter on what to do if your Lord or Lady demands your ‘special’ service, and another on Death Before Dishonour issues.
This book is written in a highly readable manner and, clearly, the authors have experienced the situations they are writing about. Ideal for both the established champion wishing to brush up on manners and the rankest knighted-on-the-battlefield ranker, this is a must-buy.
QUOTE: “True nobility is inherent, and is displayed in the way one treats both superiors and underlings: A gentleman always thanks his troll.”
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Roll of Honour
Lord Magnu, Fae Diplomat
Wingasa, Lord Magnu’s Aide
Malfian, Jurrawiccan Outlaw
Durahan, Jurrawiccan Outlaw
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Classifieds
CECCO my darling it's been too long: I miss you. Kiss kiss, Laurentien
ELVEN ARTIFACTS FROM LORANDROS REVEALED TO BE POWERLESS KEEPSAKES!
Recompense offered for return of said ‘artifacts’ to the Elves. Inquire at the Twining Vine Inn, Eranov. Proof of legitimate purchase required.
THE AFFAIR OF THE ROSY CANDLE
Deluxe collecters edition, all installments bound in tasteful red calfskin trimmed with gold. Apply: Domus Stochastum Books, Street of the Feather, Royal Carpathia
ULRIC, where the hell are you? Do you wanna rescue the girl or not? DP.
THE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Octavo, bound in 'pigskin'. Black and white illustrations. Useful manual of techniques and etiquette for a variety of murderous situations.
Apply Sign of the Tokoloshe, 777 Maria Therese Avenue, Eranov.
Credits
Scribing by Stephanie Pegg, Catherine Pegg, Rhiannon Daymond-King
Woodcuts by www.godecookery.com
Printed by the Hastings Amateur Assassins Association (Wellington Chapter)
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