|
|
|
Editor: Geldar Prope
Misrepresenting the facts since 1461. |
|
December, Year of Our Lord 1462
Issue 4 |
|
|
Valea Sarii Consumed By Swamp
On the Eve of the Feast of Erana, a small group of struggling refugees staggered into Berium telling desperate tales of the fall of Valea Sarii.
The graceful town was a haven for all things sacred, with religious schools, fruitful gardens, and an esteemed library. Its solution to the problem of the Swamp was an elaborate system of dykes and levees to hold back the noxious flow.
By the Eve of the Feast, the Swamp was dripping over the top of the town dykes, as well as seeping through the bottom. That night, the walls broke and we can assume that a wave of filth drowned the once beautiful garden town.
Though it was a large town, Valea Sarii was peaceful and its industry was ample to supply the population. All its inhabitants are now assumed to be gibbering, mindless ghouls, and slaves to the Dark One.
|
Advertisement
Watered garden
Plans expansion
Hand in hand with
Outside help.
Maiden's wreath
And jasmine flowers -
Blue's the colour
For my shelf
The Mighty Snail Garden Supply House
Your garden is a poem? Why stop there?
|
|
|
The Lady Dareena Arriving in Berium |
The library tower still reaches for the sky, the only building to survive the implosion. Its stairs spiral on the outside, leading scholars to hope that books and information may still be recovered.
The former Baroness, the Lady Dareena, fled the town and came to Berium with two retainers to contest for the Barony there. Unfortunately, although the Lady Dareena is the rightful winner of the contest, she was overthrown by force and a fellow competitor now known as Baron Underwood was invested in her place.
Few inhabitants of Valea Sarii are believed to have survived.
Free the Berium Four!
Four innocent fairies have been incarcerated in the Berium Keep for no better reason than their love of picking flowers.
They are being kept in brutal conditions by cruel and sadistic guards. Observers report that they are permanently gagged, bound hand and foot, and that all their bells have been confiscated.
Make a stand for justice and petition the Lord of Berium for their instant release!
|
Page 2
|
|
Tournament of Fools?
Underwood Ascends!
Nobles from all of Mordavia flocked to the sunny town of Berium-in-the-Swamp to compete for the newly vacant post of Lord (or Lady) of Berium.
This gruelling tournament consisted of a number of events designed to test the strength, cunning and wisdom of aspiring nobles and their retainers.
While the Baroness of Valea Sarii was an early favourite, distinguishing herself with the wisdom of her answers in events testing for logic and intellect, there were several other notable entries. Both Lord Magnu and the later disqualified Sir Nigel of Hoven impressed the judges with their feats of valour on the field of battle, while the popular favourite Baron Eric Von Braun was able to demonstrate the calibre of his retainers in events such as the Helena Fighting and the Maltese Bransle.
The Investiture of the Baron |
The judges decision was a formerly little known noble, Lord Glenn Underwood,
|
|
however the tournament was plagued with accusations of partisanship after the Steward of the Keep, Sir Lucien, returned from a conference with the King naming the Baroness of Valea Sarii as the new ruler of Berium. The townsfolk rioted at this, claiming that the Baroness was a vampire bonded to the Vampire Queen Katrina. Unnamed sources suggest that this was a deliberate rumour planted by one of the competitors to discredit the lady.
In any case, Glenn Underwood was invested as Baron along with his wife and fellow competitor, Lady Mistletoe.
Massacre Near Hoven
A company of the Royal Guard is missing, feared dead. They were sent on a mission into the Tetrigrue Forest, attempting to find a way into Hoven.
A mission led by Sir Cornelius Von Beck was dispatched to rescue the Guards if possible and to lay their bodies to rest if not. Alas, Von Beck is the only survivor. He staggered out of the forest in a putrid fever raving of ichor trails, fearsome monsters, strange ancient Romans and a ghastly winged monster that he believed to be the spawn of the Dark One.
|
He was able to verify the deaths of four of the missing Guards as well as his comrades in arms. His fever is not responding to treatment and Von Beck lies near death himself.
|
One of the strange monsters seen in Tetrigrue |
|
Page 3
|
|
Sacred Staff Sent On Progress
The Staff of Erana, the holy woman who sacrificed herself in battle against the Dark One a hundred years ago, has been uplifted from its resting place in Berium-in-the-Swamp and is being sent on a progress around all Mordavia.
This began during the Feast of Erana as part of a moving candlelit procession and service held at Erana’s Peace. Alia the White, the high priestess of the Order of Erana led the ceremony and thanksgiving before Recalling with the Staff to their main temple in Eranov. She said that the Order plans to reconsecrate the Staff before taking it on a progress around Mordavia. It is hoped that the progress will help to strengthen the country against the growth of the Swamp and act as a beacon of hope in these dark times.
When asked if the Order was removing a valuable part of the defenses of Berium, Alia the White said “Pish and tosh. I have utmost faith in the ability of the Berium Guard and its local militia to protect the town.
|
|
Besides, Valea Sarii has fallen to the Swamp and Berium is likely next. It is vital that the Staff be removed for safekeeping before such a tragedy occurs.”
The Incident of the Orcs and the Black Keep
Royal Guards based near the Black Keep of Thyglore report that a band of orcs have been discovered working with a group of Jurrawiccan rebels. There was apparently some kind of exchange, with the Jurrawiccan elves trading arms stolen from the Royal Armoury for some kind of mystical artifact that orcs had discovered in the area.
Only one prisoner was taken alive, however the Guards report that she later died while being questioned.
The artifact was retrieved and presented to the Mage's Guild. Konstantin Scarath of the Guild states that this incident is in no way related to the later sacking of the Thyglore Guild Tower by forces unknown.
This publication is asked by the Royal Guard to remind citizens that aiding and abetting Jurrawiccan outlaws is treason and punishable by death.
|
Page 4
|
|
Mystery of Missing Priestesses
Though Berium is not without its share of mysterious occurrences, the puzzling disappearance of a group of seven has managed to bewilder even the locals.
The seven, all Priestesses of Ceres, include one noble, Merlot Sarus, the daughter of Duke Mikhail Sarus. The group travelled to Berium in order to investigate the swamp and the undead situation.
When contacted, the High Priestess of the Daughters of Ceres declined to comment.
“We're doing everything possible to find the priestesses, and I'm not just saying that,” the new Lord of Berium, Baron Glenn Underwood, assured this reporter. “And it's my hope that we can eliminate the need for any more such action in the future.”
One local speculates the involvement of an undead Roman Legion that was recently sighted in the area. “Roman religion, Roman soldiers, might be connected,” mused the local, wishing to remain unidentified, over a tankard of mead. “Of course, they could’ve just been eaten by a necrotaur.”
Other residents of the town suggest they joined the Cult of the One True God or the Royal Carpathian Circus.
If anyone has information regarding the disappearance, current whereabouts or ultimate fate of this unfortunate group, please contact either Duke Mikhail Sarus or Acanthus Everlight of Berium.
|
Advertisement
In a summer house
I dream of building a wall:
A friend lays my bricks.
To dance in moonlight
With wine and fragrant flower
The best place is here.
The Mighty Snail Garden Supply House
Your garden is a poem? Why stop there?
|
|
|
Roll of Honour
Taranth Darkwatcher: brave Guardsman
Logan MacRoth: Druid
Christian and Myrtle Mapwell: archaic explorers
Bayard Strongbow: randy Centaur
Inigo, Elena Rowan, Ha’zir and Cooper: Von Beck’s retinue
Classifieds
DESPERATELY SEEKING SINDY
Your eyes met mine across the cult celebration.
Our tentacles twined so sweetly.
If it wasn't for those darned kids!
If you still liv- exist, and worship The Dark One, Whose Spawn Blots Out The Moon, Yea, Kill Him And He Shall Not Perish, leave a message in that place we both know of.
I will find you!
Ulric of the Slime
xxx ooo xxx
FEELING STRESSED?
Do YOU dream of the Dark One nightly? Is one of YOUR limbs of a tentacular nature? WE CAN HELP. The Berium Insane Asylum and Health Spa works night and day to ensure that its patrons become well-rested, relaxed, and tentacle free!
Grow strong on our nourishing diet of gruel and water. Ease into our routine of cold baths and flagellation. Rejoice in the holy ecstasy of speaking in tongues!
Come, join our friendly community and cleanse yourself of corruption AT THE SAME TIME.
Contact Father Voltaire through the Mordavian Truth or the Berium Inn.
WANTED A druid with the ability to annul Druidic marriages. Client is Lord Underwood, the Baron of Berium. Handsome payment. Required URGENTLY.
FOR SALE Necrotaur puppies.
Extremely friendly. Easy to feed - eats anything. Very fond of small children. Tendency to nibble on furniture and flesh. Reasonably priced; some housebroken. No immediate repairs needed. Keeps preferred.
Inquire with Chagrin Avernus. Soon.
Credits
Scribing by Stephanie Pegg, Catherine Pegg, Craig Neilson, Anna Klein and Brian Watson.
Woodcuts by www.godecookery.com
Printed by the Hastings Amateur Assassins Association (Auckland Chapter)
|
|
|
|
|
